User blog:Fuzzo the fuzzy bee/The Gatus Trials

The trials of The Gatus.

First Trial
The first trial is to battle a huge creature that has the power of Alphasm. This creature flies really quickly and must be defeated to pass the trial. If you kill the creature, you are allowed to move on to trial 2. This allows you to finish the trial without permanantly killing a creature that cannot be permanantly killed. This is already a difficult trial, so good luck!

Second Trial
For this one, you need to be fast. Move across The Gatus in 1 minute, and you win. You need to teleport in order to win, but you won’t be able to teleport so far! Your only advantage is adrenaline, as a doge will be chasing you with a baseball bat and attempting to bonk you while shouting “YOU’RE ACTING QUITE HORNY FOR SOMEONE IN BONK DISTANCE!” even if you’re not horny. If he bonks you, you are unconscious. It takes 1 minute and 30 seconds for the doge to get across The Gatus.

Third Trial
This is a very hard trial, it’s a maze but you have 3 minutes and if you reach a dead end, you lose immediately. The best way to do it is to know the maze, but gods of this level would know how to do it easily. Teleportation is illegal and the maze is full of death traps. Goodbye fools! Hahahaha oh and some traps are unavoidable so you must survive them. You’ll never beat it! Dude will this get me the end-all-be-all category?

Fourth Trial
This trial is another battle but this time you fight an infinite amount of enemies with 1/100th the strength of the first trial boss fight. If you kill all of the infinite amount of them, you do win. It’s very hard to kill that many but this is AD where logic is stoogif, which isn’t a word. Stoogif... good page name idea. Lemme write that down... oh wait, I already typed it.

Fifth Trial
This trial is one where you get an image for 2 seconds. You have to write down that exact image PERFECTLY using colored pencils. You have 10 hours to do so and if you get it wrong, you fail and have to start all over again. Harsh, isn’t it? But you know what isn’t harsh? The fact that you can go on fuzzoepik.com to get FREE T-SHIRTS for ONLY 17 ninety-nien! Buy now for FRE- oh, nows not the time for our sponsor? My bad!

Sixth Trial
This trial is where you have a giant bepis machine that is broken. You have to fix the bepis machine in order to continue. Please do! :) :) :) :) :) anyways, this machine when fixed produces infinite bepis, and you can choose to continue the trials or get all the bepis for yourself! Oops, I broke it again 😢

Seventh Trial
The seventh trial is a trial (duh) where you have to do some really hard jumps and you can’t teleport or fly or anything like that. You have to jump on extremely tiny hyperspeed cones that are very far apart. There are 2 million jumps and you have to succeed in every jump or you fail the trial! This is quite hard to do, which is good because we don’t want BEAN MAN BUT AWESOME to be freed, do we? We don’t! That’s why these are so hard!

Eighth Trial
The eighth trial is not an easy task. You have to stealthily sneak through a maze with a ton of people patrolling it. You still can’t teleport, and the patrol guys, if they see you, make you lose the trial. About 1/10 of the maze’s space has a patrol guy in it. You can’t destroy the patrol guys, either. If they see you, you instantly fail the trial. This makes the eighth trial ridiculous. This is where many people who actually make it here get stuck. You can’t do this one very easily due to the patrol guys having insane vision on all sides and moving very fast.

Ninth Trial
In the ninth trial, you are presented with a huge, indestructible wall. It’s about 1,000,000 googolplex times as hard to destroy as hexegon and o r b combined. This trial isn’t too ridiculous, you just have to destroy the wall. However, it’s still not easy, as this wall is pretty much indestructible! You will not be able to do this unless you are VERY good at destroying things. You also have a time limit of 10 minutes to destroy 100% of the wall, which makes this much, much harder.

Tenth Trial
Only 0.0000001% of creatures who attempt the trials actually make it this far. To get through this trial, you have to do the fifth trial again but the image is there for 1 nanosecond and is much more detailed. You also have these creatures that attempt to destroy the image and there is an infinite amount of these creatures coming from all sides, making this trial a nightmare to complete. To make matters worse, you only have 10 minutes to draw the picture! Good luck.

Eleventh Trial
Yet another trial. This one is a harder version of trials 1 and 4 because, like trial 4, you face an infinite number of enemies, but the enemies here are actually the trial 1 enemy. This basically makes this infinitely harder than the first trial, which was already very difficult. Because of this, this trial is considered to be extremely tough.

Twelfth Trial
In this trial, you need to dodge a rainstorm of bullets... literally. You can’t get hit by the bullets or you lose. You also can’t dissapear or anything like that. The problem is that the bullets are so heavily concentrated that a being would have to shrink to a hypersmall size and then do some extreme precision dodging to even stand a chance against this trial. Even worse, the storm lasts for a full week, and you have to dodge the bullets until the storm ends. Only 1 bullet hits you and your already out. Sound hard? Haha, we’ve only just begun.

Thirteenth Trial
The unlucky number. This trial is a combination of trials 12 and 10. You have to do trial 10 again while dodging the trial 12 rainstorm. The difficulty is actually drawing the picture and fighting off the enemies, because both of those are MUCH harder to do while being forced to do a no-hit run of the rain. This makes this trial ludicrously tough because you have to do some absurd multitasking with each individual task being impossible on it’s own.

Fourteenth Trial
In this trial, well, remember the doge from trial 2? Well, you have to battle 69420 of them at the same time. Do I need to say anything else? Only 1 in every 10 billion people who reach this trial actually complete it due to the trial 2 doge being ludicrously strong, much much stronger than the trial 1 boss. You also only have 1 hour to fight off this doge army. Don’t you know how big of a number 69420 is?

Fifteenth Trial
The fifteenth trial is like the second trial but you have 40 seconds and it takes 30 seconds for the doge to get there, also the trial 12 bullet rain is there and after you get to the edge of the gatus, you have to do a drawing like the fifth trial. That makes this a little bit ridiculous, doesn’t it? Oh, and the drawing, well, you still have the 40 second time limit... or however much time you have left.

Sixteenth Trial
This is the sixth trial but you have only 10 minutes to fix the bepis machine AND it’s even more broken, and to make matters worse... it’s invisible. You also can’t use any abilities to make it visible or insta-fixes or anything... so good luck with this one. Oh right, we don’t want to free BMBA, so... tough luck with this one! Haha!

Seventeenth Trial
The seventeenth trial is not an easy task... obviously. For this one, you have to shoot a very inaccurate gun bullet at a fast moving target the size of an atom with a distance away from you equal to half of The Gatus. This makes it insanely hard to hit and you can’t teleport, manipulate, control, or alter the physics of the bullet. If you do anything like that, you instantly fail the trial.

Eighteenth Trial
Once you begin this trial, you will be sent to a pitch black void full of nothingness. It extends infinitely in every direction and slowly kills you. If it kills you, you die. Anyways, you have to escape the void to complete this trial. That’s it. That’s all you have to do. However, you wouldn’t know that this is a trial or anything, plus the void extends infinitely in every direction, and to make matters worse, an extremely powerful force constantly pulls you towards the center, and it kills you up to 100x as fast if you take too long. The death speed can reach 100x normal if you take over an hour and still haven’t died or escaped yet somehow.

Nineteenth Trial
This trial is one where you have to eat a clump of Glitch Matter, Primordium Delta, Primordium Alpha, Primordium Omega, Toxicium, Glitchonicite, and Corruptite half the size of The Gatus. You also only have 1 minute to eat all of it AND the toxicium is prevented from corroding the other stuff. This is a very deadly task so you must not try it. Only 1 thousand people have ever completed this monstrous trial!

Twentieth Trial
The twentieth trial is a trial where you are locked in a cage. The cage is 1 thousand times as strong as the wall in the ninth trial, plus the cage walls are closing in fast! It takes them only 25 seconds to fully close in and crush you. No teleporting allowed, either. But that’s not all! If you do somehow make it out of the cage, a being 1 trillion times as stronk as the trial 2 doge will appear and attempt to kill you. You need to kill that being, but after that, 10 more of that being will appear and attack, and for every 2 of those 10 you kill, 3 more will appear, totalling up to 26 of these monstrous beings! You only have 30 minutes to complete this entire trial.

Twenty-First Trial
Nobody has ever completed this trial. Why? Because you have to do the nineteenth trial again while the twentieth trial creatures constantly attack you AND it’s raining bullets like in the twelfth trial but this time the rain is even heavier! To make matters worse, you have only 20 SECONDS to complete this trial! This means it is IMPOSSIBLE to complete this one. Yay, no BEAN MAN BUT AWESOME for us :D

Twenty-Second Trial
Nobody has ever made it here. It doesn’t matter, though, because nobody would complete this one. You have to beat the 20th trial in 5 minutes with bullet rain and also having a heavy weight chained to your back, being blindfolded, and having your hands tied behind your back, in addition to the cage being in a larger clone of itself in an even larger clone of itself with each one being 5x as strong as the last one! However, the difficulty of this trial pales in comparison to the absolute monstrosities that lie ahead...

By the way, where did I put my keys?

Twenty-Third Trial
This is a very gross trial, as you will be at a dead end of a toilet drain with the toilet constantly flushing and pushing you with force 1 billion times as powerful as the eighteenth trial’s back-to-center force. You have 10 minutes to escape the toilet, but the length of the drain is 1 thousand times as long as the second trial tunnel. Also, huge chunks of poop constantly come flying at you, and touching the poop makes you instantly fail. It would take about an hour for the entire drain to be completely filled to the brim with turds. If you escape the toilet, you become extremely tiny and have to exit the bathroom you are while your time limit starts ticking 25x as fast!

Twenty-Fourth Trial
This trial is the eighteenth trial again but there are bullets coming from all directions and the trial 20 creatures attack you, plus the void is 100x as large. The force is FIVE BILLION times as strong as the original strength, and it kills you 100x as fast! THERE IS NO ESCAPE. Recommended strategy: ram your head into a bullet so you don’t get killed by the void. It’s the only way to get out. Hehehehe...

Twenty-Fifth Trial
This trial is tricky since it’s trial 13 but the creatures that attack you are from trial 20, and you only the the image for 1 planck time. It’s also 10x as large and you have half the amount of time to complete it, but it’s constantly changing size and spinning and moving and you have to use crayons instead of colored pencils. There are also bombs that sometimes come from the sky. Also, when you try to move something that is part of your body in 1 direction, it moves in the other direction.

Twenty-Sixth Trial
Trial 23 again (ew) but this time the thicc bullet storm (trial 21 bullet storm) is washed down the drain and you have 1 minute. The force is 50x as powerful as in the original trial 23. The drain is twice as long and there is 5x as much poop. Also, the water is extremely mucky and hard to see through, plus the post-toilet part has you shrank 50x as much in a 5x size bathroom and the time limit goes by 666x as fast at this part! Yeah, you are not doing this.

Twenty-Seventh Trial
This trial is very hard. It has the trial 21 bullet storm while you do the fifteenth trial but it’s 1 million times as long and the force from the twenty-sixth trial is pulling you back. To make matters worse, the doge moves 3 million times as fast and is immune to the force and bullets, and also on the way through the tunnel there are 100 instances of the ninth trial wall but 1 million times as strong. Yeah, you already failed, don’t try this impossible trial.

Twenty-Eighth Trial
This trial is ridiculous. You have to do trial four again but the enemies are 1 trillion  times as strong as the trial 20 creatures. You also can’t use any powers with your mind and you are shrunk like in trial 26. This trial is practically impossible so I don’t recommend trialing it! Hehe... get it? Ok I’m sorry that was a terrible joke...

Twenty-Ninth Trial
''You shouldn’t be here... you got through the previous 28 trials somehow, but that isn’t supposed to happen. These aren’t trials, they are defense mechanisms. So, surrender or be obliterated. This trial will end your life. If you surrender, we will teleport you back home. If you continue, we will kill you. So, whaddya say? ...So be it. Prepare to die.''

Remember the guards of The Gatus? Well there is something that makes there be 100 copies of all of them (including the civilization) and also each copy being 100x as strong as the original. To proceed, you need to kill all of them, but that’s literally impossible. Just give up. There is no way to pass this trial.

If you somehow make it to the final trial, you are faced with this.

Harder versions of all trials. At the SAME TIME. 1-29, NONE LEFT OUT. It’s impossible. You   CANNOT    finish this. Also, if you fail on this trial, instead of being sent back to the first trial, you die permanantly. You can’t be brought back by anything. Not a recovery center. Not a higher god. Not your own ability to revive yourself. Nothing can bring you back if you die here. And when I say nothing, I MEAN IT. So, do NOT attempt this absurd trial. You will fail. Oh, and did I mention you have 1 second to do this ENTIRE TRIAL!? Yeah, good luck with that.