The cosmic remote omnipotence machine, or CROM for short, is a machine currently being studied in the Ontological Museum and originated from Something. It also had a card and a pen. The pen seemed to have infinite ink. The card and pen were kept safe in a small container attached to the machine with a door. The machine also had a slot for the card. If you wrote something to do on the card and inserted it, whatever the card told the reader to do would be done, it doesn't matter what instructions the card had. After reading the card, the card would be dispensed back out fresh without any of the pen ink. Enough studying has been done to know the origin of the machine:
A group of Cosmic Dominators were living their normal lives in their Library, when suddenly a mysterious entity started destroying it. The group gathered supplies and fled to the surface of Something. They then made a home there and built the machine to help defend against enemies, the group went from passive to neutral. The entity then got to the surface and started attacking. The group fled out of Isolation and tried to bring the machine with them, but the entity noticed the machine and picked it up and put it down far away. The group figured they'd die trying to get the machine so they went without it. The outside pirates then gave the group of cosmic dominators special treatment for being different, and then gave the group supplies to build a home. The group then slept inside the trunk of Isolation's Reality Tree. Entities that were sent to bring objects from Something to the Ontological Museum then found the machine and brought it back.