Ontological Museum

The Ontological Museum is a location with no known creator in between verses, displaying strange objects of great power. Each object has an associated method of unlocking to access the object, as well as a plaque describing the object in the reader's language as well as giving its name. It is impossible to access these objects other than unlocking them in a special way, usually involving a sacrifice. It has been shown that the Ontological Museum can take objects and put them within itself.

Objects

Note: This page is meant to be edited by the community so they can add their own items.

Grand Black Obelisk - A human-sized obelisk of unknown composition. It can access verses deleted from existence. No one has accessed it so far.

Glitch Core - LEAVE. Somebody has accessed it.

The Box - A completely ordinary cardboard box filled with air. The Box is shut. No one has accessed it so far.

Encyclopedia Cassandra - A leather-bound book that can answer any question about anything. Somebody has accessed it.

Everything - A book of poems by Ael Onpet. Not accessed but copies exist outside of the Ontological Museum.

Pristine Surface - A portal to a verse within the Second Realm. Unlike the rest of the Second Realm, it is mostly static, with only a thin layer of liquid moving. Staying in this realm for long will show you the thing you need most.

Yellow's Blade - In October 2019, YellowMarkers1 and MinersHavenM43 had a battle. Despite Yellow having more points than Miner, Miner won, because Miner's Mandelbrot Swordield is a magic weapon, while Yellow's blade isn't. When Miner won and killed Yellow, he took his blade and put it in his house. Later, Ubersketch asked Miner if he could put it into his Ontological Museum, and Miner accepted.

Yetmmud Residue - 151 OYC ago(as of 2021), a Yetmmud appeared on the outskirts of the Omniverse on an abandoned planet. During this time, or during its departure, it left a 17 x 17 centimeter cube of completely unknown material, guarded by unknown laws of unknown origins. None of its properties are known and are likely to remain unknown. It is thought to be stable, however, it could be unstable as well, so a planck-length perfect copy remains at the museum, while the original is in a time freeze being studied in a protected enviroment.

A piece of The Arch - On 237 OYC, a piece of The Arch broke when an extremely corrupted verse smashed into it at a never-before-seen speed. The piece was relatively small, only being 10 centimeters wide. No damage to the piece was done. It is currently being studied by creatures in The Vast Pseudo-Void.

Objects from Something - Many items were found in Something by explorers. They were first found in 12 OYC, and the latest one discovered was in 7219 OYC. Objects include sentient objects that aren't supposed to be sentient, buildings that seemingly violate space and time, and objects that seemingly do things almost uncomprehendable, such as changing the dimensions to an impossible one.

Mr. Pigeon - A single skeleton of a pigeon, which has been dubbed "Mr. Pigeon" , was taken in by the Ontological Museum. The pigeon has no particularly remarkable traits that make it special among verses and/or dimensions and is pretty much just a normal pigeon skeleton. It's not particularly powerful unless one's a tiny helpless grub or something. Mr. Pigeon's skeleton was first accessed by a few very confused explorers who sacrificed a lot of bread crumbs circa 2957 OYC. After the sacrifice and discovery, many were left to wonder about the life of Mr. Pigeon and the circumstances of the skeleton's arrival. The suspected life of Mr. Pigeon is thought to have occurred in a normal large urban city on the planet Earth, a habitable planet in the Milky Way Galaxy in some universe, and lived off a diet of mostly Lucky Charm toasted oat pieces that little children didn't want to eat as the marshmallows were tastier. Mr. Pigeon likely died of cyanide poisoning when a very gleeful couple threw peanuts laced with cyanide out for his flock. No one knows the precise reasoning as to why it was taken in by the museum. Some theorists believe Mr. Pigeon was taken into the museum out of insecurity, seeing as there were no dinosaurs in this museum. What kind of museum has no dinosaurs? A lame one apparently. So, Mr. Pigeon was taken into the museum circa April 28, 2012. Or maybe the museum just really liked pigeons. Who knows? That's one of the greatest mysteries of the Omniverse.

A blob of pure Sentient Substance - A pure blob of Sentient Substance, the 1st element to have sentience. It is a very bizarre substance in other ways, like changing color to express emotions and using auditory hallucinations to "telepathically" communicate with other entities.

A hand - A oversized hand. This hand has very jagged and sharp fingers presumably used for attacking, and seems to have a black, viscous liquid on it. It is unknown where this hand came from.

Spectrum Blade of Crystal - A very magical sword, could even be sentient. It vibrates and gives bad luck.

The BHR - A machine that stops black holes from destroying everything.

Ikjop Crystal - A bluish-grayish-greenish colored crystal that can be used for stabbing things and works VERY well because of how sharp it is. It is named after an entity called Ikjop that discovered it.

The Dunk Sword - A replica of Dunkey Kong's sword (it is fake because only DK can use it)

Zbfdfffg'gdfgr - A cube exactly 5.888 meters in length. On it are multiple grooved lines intersecting each other at seemingly random angles. The object has multiple anomalous properties such as its tendency to gravitate away from dense objects, its ability to become immovable in a pure vacuum, and its resistance to very high heat. It is believed that this was caused by the object being ejected from a -verse with very specific laws that got violently destroyed in a collision. A key exists on one side of Zbfdfffg'gdfgr.

Cryogenically frozen potatoes - Multiple cryogenically frozen potatoes that are consistently being cooled down so as not to rot. What is weird is that when they were found and relocated to OM, they were already frozen. No one knows why they were frozen, but they were. Accessed.

Portal to another portal with a set destination that is set to nothing. - This suddenly just formed in OM and it has a destination set to another portal with an existence rank of 0.5 that has a set destination... set to nowhere. the portal you initially go through if you try to enter it has an existence rank of 1, so to access it you need to be existent, but then by going through it your existence rank is changed to 0.5. The destination of it is unknown because a set destination set to nothing shouldn't have a destination, but it does, but it also doesn't, which is really weird so that means it has to take you somewhere and nowhere. Not accessed.

The last fanta - It is the only fanta that wasn't used in the Orangestverse. That link itself is an anomaly since I'm pretty sure any link to it should be orange, Like this. Not accessed.

Toxicium sample (frozen in time so as not to convert everything into toxicium) - A sample of Toxicium with a mass of exactly 87.88345 grams. It is frozen in time. Not accessed.

Portal to itself - A portal that can teleport any object to itself. Upon entrance of this portal, you will get stuck in an infinite loop and cannot do ANYTHING or NOTHING or EVERYTHING to leave. Not accessed, as no one wants to access it.

Preserved O r b shell material - A 286 kilogram sample copy of the shell material of O r b. It is in a time freeze to never decay like O r b's shell eventually will, although obscenely far into the future. Accessed, has never been changed.

Last remaining portal to The Ball Hierarchy - This is the only portal to the ball hierarchy. every other portal has dissipated. Accessed. Addendum: More portals were confirmed to exist.

TNT - A few sticks of TNT from Earth, just some random planet in a random universe.

Vacuum tube "tesla coil" - An 80,000 volt HV vacuum tube "tesla coil". The reason why tesla coil is in quotations is because HVVT"TC"s are not tesla coils, but they are similar, so they are called vacuum tube tesla coils. Not accessed.

Live dinosaurs - What kind of museum doesn't have dinosaurs? A lame one. What kind of museum has LIVE dinosaurs? A good one. Since OM is a good museum, it has live dinosaurs, it also goes the other way around, and there are 150,000 specimens per dinosaur species, but also 10,000 specimens of a few dinosaur species that didn't actually exist on that one random planet many millions of years ago, these fake dinosaur specimens are also live, but they were made to be in OM. The fake dinosaur species are really cool and not lame. Accessed.

LOCK - An impossible to access lock, no matter how hard you try, you cannot pick the lock. You can't change the lock either, it's COMPLETELY indestructible. The only things that can damage LOCK are Mips rabbit and the mips rabbit clones. While LOCK is not able to be accessed, and the contents cannot be accessed as you have to access LOCK to access its contents, you can look through LOCK to see the contents of LOCK. The contents of LOCK are some very very small tungsten cubes. While LOCK has a size of 17.5 cubic meters, its contents, being an extremely large amount of tungsten cubes, should be able to take up over 5,000x that amount of space, however it seems that LOCK can contain things larger than it, as well as enough small things to be able to easily fill it and more. You know newton's 3rd law? With this it's amplified, as it is not equal if force is exerted on LOCK. Instead of LOCK going back with equal force, the force that goes back is 880 octodecillion times as much as is exerted on LOCK. It locks itself. Inaccessible.

Thing - I don't know what this is. What is this? Does this exist? Did I make this up? Was it ever really in this place to begin with? Let me check..... It is there. I don't know what it looks like. I forgot where it is. There it is. I'm looking at it right now... I can't tell what it looks like. It looks like..... I don't know. I forgot the thing that it looks like. It's gone. No, wait, that's it. The plaque says you will.... I can't keep looking at that, it hurts my brain. Maybe it was accessed.

Maze - It is a maze that visibly has an entrance and an exit, but the exit moves when you reach it. Not accessed.

Flesh pit - It is a very large and deep cave system that has a tour through the mapped section of it. The map will not be shown on this page. The flesh comes from over 2.2 trillion species of organisms from all over the box it was taken from. However there are 19 trillion [b] samples.... copies??? No idea. [b] of [flesh from] organisms that have not been discovered or documented in all of history from any entity or object. The pit is approximately 91,864 cubic light years. There is life inside. The pit itself is moving. It breathes. Accessed.

Item #7261 - Removed.

Coin - It is a coin. It will not land on its sides that one would normally land on, being the top or the bottom. One would logically then assume that it would land on the side of the coin that is rarely landed on. It does not. When flipped, it will land on another side you cannot see. But it is not visibly levitating. The side is intangible other than by the coin, but you can tell it lands on it. Not Accessed.

Book of babel - Contains an infinite amount of all possible text. Book dimensions: 72 cm long, 34 wide. 21 cm thick. It is unknown how a normal sized book can contain an infinite amount of text, considering the fact that it is in normal font size. Not yet accessed, but there are 3 other copies.

?freqvibrate - A crystal that vibrates at an irregular rate. Has been monitored for over 650,000 OYC and it does not vibrate at any given frequency. It also changes through them irregularly. The crystal does vibrate, but at no pattern. It does not go 50 100 50 100 or anything that is a pattern. It also will never vibrate at a frequency that is whole, and these frequencies have never been vibrated at more than once: 67, 21, 754, 817, 888, 666, 444, 221, 996, 2000, 1772, 2017, 4, 2, 7, 24, 27, 29, 28, 4100, 6000, 2004. Accessed. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHO USED THE UNBOLDER ON THIS?!?!/mmsdj[sokspsf

Unbolder - Automatically unbolds any text exposed to. Has been locked 60 times to prevent it from unbolding everything. Not accessed.

Italicizer - Crap, someone accessed it. And wait a minute, did someone access the unbolder or was that just my incompetence? Accessed, I think.

A complete fossil record - A document of all of history. Also includes a complete fossil record which would otherwise be impossible. Free to access, so obviously accessed.

Self replicating eye - An eyeball thing that looks at the nearest living organism. It is unknown how it looks at things if it is neither alive or has any reason to do so, because it is just a really realistic clay eyeball. It is also red. Every 36 hours it duplicates, and every copy of the eye must either be stored if it has variation, or destroyed with an eraser. Accessed by 16 unknown individuals.

Foil ball - A very big foil ball that looks smaller when it is not in your peripheral vision. Things that have 190 or more degree vision will always see it as the same size. Not accessed.

Non euclidean labyrinth - Free to access infinite non euclidean labyrinth. Everyone who enters will get stuck unless they can teleport out, but it is infinite, so unless you can teleport over transfinite distances, you can never leave.

SCP-2719 - It's just SCP-2719. Accessed?

Non fiction book - An empty book that, when someone writes down an event on it, the event happens. Not accessed.

1 - Do not edit this part of the page. Any reference to this using its actual name, shown on the label, is to be removed immediately. Refrain from using its true name. It will have extreme consequences. Do NOT make any reference to this. Do NOT use its actual name. DO NOT SPEAK OF IT. It is to be contained in the backroom of the ontological museum. Many attempts have been made to destroy 1 and its label, but none have been successful. Refer to it as 1. If any entity is to be found attempting to access the backroom of the ontological museum without permission, it is to be killed immediately. Multiple attempts have been made to relocate it into LOCK to stop anyone from accessing it, but none have been successful. Any further information on what 1 is is not to be posted by any means, or for any reason. Not accessed. No attempts will be made to access it, as the last time it was successfully accesed, there were very bad consequences.

D-716284-7128-9917-X-7727182-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX - Cognitohazardous text similar to the despair code. Last XXXX strings will complete the cognitohazard and kill anyone that senses it. Omnipresent but full code is there, but under a layer of special tape made to contain cognitohazards. The code is written on a stone tablet that has a regenerative property, making it immune to damage, so if left on some random planet, it will never erode. It is unknown what this regenerative property is. The tape obviously covers the last part, and it is omnipresent in the sense that if anyone anywhere reads the text, in any medium, in any place, any in general, it will have the same effect. Last 12 characters are not of any known script. Mostly Intangible. Not accessed.

trtt - exok ykakt mylygnes ignosa ferroformes nit palat keratub uka zerak jahwen nullo peti peti kuwu wom zykykykykll jobyza dnepropert makuwat huitl. Azeranne.

City - City is an infinitely large city similar to the one in blame, but it is also expanding on the inside, so it is full of pipes. It can be found in a portal in one of the rooms leading to 1. Once entered, there is no way out. Accessed.

the - an elevator that loops forever. Not Accessed.

Stone Sphere Collection - an infinite collection of stone spheres of many different colors and sizes. some of them have faces. Accessed by opening LOCK, which is obviously impossible, but you can view it. Not Accessed

The Cosine Function - The literal cosine function. Once guarded by the Guardian of the Cosine Function, a distant cousin of the Guardian of the Sine Function. Accessed.

J.J.T.D.C. - Stands for "Játa-Jatê-Toült Difficulty Chart". Seems to be a 2 meter tall obelisk made of a yet undefinable although paper-like substance. On this "paper", there is a lot of paint, showcasing a chart similar to a conventional Hierarchy in All Dimensions databases. This hierarchy shows difficulties that have been documented here. It has been dated to 12,432,924 BOYC.