The Aspect Warlord

The Aspect Warlord
Rules over	Garden of petunias
Age	Elderly
Size	Fat
Knowledge	Dumb
Goals	E V I L. Also bionicles.
Species	Idiot made completely out of overused tropes

When attempting to describe The Aspect Warlord, one will find that it is in fact easier to say what isn't known about it rather than what it is. This is because nobody actually wants to talk about what is known about him and his life. Upon reading about his shenanigans, one would probably find said stance somewhat reasonable.

It is known that the Warlord is the only Warlord in the entire Box (for some reason even though that makes no sense). The Warlord is also able to move from one user's continuity to another at his own will. This is because he's S P E C I A L and totally deserves S P E C I A L T R E A T M E N T. This does mean that whatever shenanigan about the Warlord literally any user will make will become 100% canon! Huzzah! It sure is great to be able to dictate the life of someone else's character.

Shenanigan One: Being Oblivious

The Aspect Warlord is an Aspect Warlord. Who would've thunk it? He's apparently the only Aspect Warlord in existence and never shuts the fuck up about it. Every night, he sings an annoying little chant.

"*inhales* The wonderful thing about Warlords is Warlords are wonderful things! Their cocks are made of rubber! Their asses are made of springs! They're evil, treevil, fleevil, sneevil! Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about Warlords is I'm the only one! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M THE ONLY ONE!!!!"

All the Aspect Lords and Aspect Ladies H A T E D him and told him to fuck off all the time. But all that does is encourage him to continue talking about himself to others. To rub even more shite into the wound, he even makes up stories about things. His stories weren't inherently bad, no. But he brings them up over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until half the Aspect Lord population kermits suicide, providing lots of valuable Xaspunum for many civilizations. (Of course, we all know half of infinity is still infinity so this sadly has no effect on the Aspect Lord population)

One fateful metaday, one great big Aspect Lord gave the Warlord the ability to travel between continuities as if they were parallel archverses. Hopefully this would make the Warlord go away.What joy! Now the Aspect Warlord will be able to advertise his shit to parallel versions of his """""friends""""". Entities argued with him. Parallel versions of themselves should not be subjected to such torture! Mr. Great Big ranted about how unreasonable they were to want to keep him around in this continuity and they all collectively complied with him and instantly agreed with the argument. Can't argue with not having the Warlord around! At this point, one might ask about parallel versions of the Warlord in other continuities. What would he say to them? Good question! Well, the Warlord is insanely fucking confident that he is the only Aspect Warlord throughout all the continuities and never even questioned it. Apparently all that chanting managed to convince him that he was indeed the only one. As it turns out, that was the case. How convenient. It was not for the reason the Warlord suspected though....

After talking to his garden of petunias and a fucking tree (while also having intercourse with it--the only "being" that truly appreciates his shit) and before leaving his home continuity, he wanted to ensure that the entities from his home continuity did not forget about him in his leave. But just then, he noticed that the world wasn't sucking his tiny enormous penis. No, no, no! The world was sucking the cock of a different entity. One that went by the name of "Oblivious". GASP! Versions of Oblivious were some of Aspect Warlords mere servants that were never acknowledged until now! And yet... this continuity is starting to suck Oblivious’ cock and NOT HIS OWN!!!! Warlord felt betrayed. He angrily picked up the Oblivious and slammed him into the tree--only for the tree to suck the Oblivious' cock too. W H A T ? ! tHE TreE neVer sUCkeD the WaRLorD's C O C K !!!!11!!1!!!!! ThIS WAS aN OUTRAGE!!!!!1!1!!!!!!1!!!

It was at this moment that the Warlord started to cry like a baby. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAfdgsfgshfshshgfhsHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!ddgdgsgsfa a bbbbbbb AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAagahaughguaghaugauhgauhgahaghaugauhaghuaghauhgahuagbuhagaagguAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAbbbbbbbbubcock sgjwergjwegrnjinbinbioanAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Everyone told him to shut the fuck up. Normally this would motivate the Warlord to talk about his own shit more but this time, he ran the fuck away from his continuity blubbering like a bitch. (HALLELUJAH!! HALLELUJAH!! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLEHH-LU-JAHHHHHH!!!!) The entities living in it clearly did not want him around (ABOUT TIME HE FINALLY GOT THE FUCKING MESSAGE). The new continuity that the Warlord will move to would surely suck his cock and not Oblivious's--he was 100% sure about that. He'll be damned if his new home won't fiddle diddle with his widdle diddle---i MEAN uh ENORMOUS SCHLONG.

Of course, the people who actually write these continuities don't actually like Warlord and so, many shenanigans from continuity to continuity ensue as the Warlord desperately tries to get his dick sucked by the world around him.

Shenanigan Two: Pumping rectum full of lead

There may be a dark storm starting to gather...

...and Warlord is bringing the thunder.

Aspect Warlord Shenanigan Two: Pumping rectum full of lead

Coming soon to DVD and Blu-Ray in the hopefully forseeable future

Shenanigan Three: Pure unadulterated nipple torture

Ditto